5 LB. TEST PRODUCTIONS

LOVE AT FIRST LIGHT

A SHORT PLAY

JEFF DAINTON
3/24/2010
ELROCKJD@AOL.COM

2

Darkness. THE HACKING COUGH of 1. Three ZIPPOS light 3 cigarettes, illuminating the faces of #2, #3 and #4 sitting in chairs. A fourth chair sits empty. The Zippos SNAP SHUT. Darkness. 1 enters and stands off stage. He tries to light a Zippo to see. No luck.

1: Can someone get the lights, please?
(Three Zippos light up. 1 enters. The Zippos SNAP SHUT, leaving the stage dark)
1: Cute. Now how about those lights?
3: Why bother? (Taking a drag)
1: Because I can’t see a damn thing, that’s why bother!
(3 lights his Zippo. 1 moves toward the empty chair. 3 SNAPS IT SHUT before he can get there. Darkness…again..
1: I’m not even sure why I agreed to do this with you people. (Finally sitting, fumbling w/ his chair.)
2: We’re not 100% sure why you agreed either. (Taking a drag.)
3: No idea. (Taking a drag.)
4: Not a clue. (Taking a drag.)
1: If I had any sense, I’d get up and walk right out of here.
4: You’d probably fall.
3: And break your neck.
2: Or worse.
1: How do you figure?
( 2, 3 and 4 light up their Zippos.)
2, 3, 4: No lights.
(2, 3, and 4 SNAP their Zippos SHUT. 2,3, and 4 INHALE/EXHALE. They are free to do so at will throughout the piece but do so in unison when stage directed to. 1 COUGHS LOUDLY)
2: I would have that checked, if I were you.

3

4: Soon.
3: The sooner the better.
1: You guys should talk.
(2, 3, and 4 ADLIB about smoking related problems, illnesses, experiences, finishing their cigarettes.)
1: All right! Enough! I get it!
(2, 3, and 4 light up their Zippos and fresh cigarettes.)
1: Guess I walked into that one.
2: Head first.
4: Up to your eyeballs.
3: You invented That Walk.
1: Okay. I get the picture.
(2 lights his Zippo and holds out a cigarette for 1.)
2: Well?
1: Well, what?
2: Go on.
1: Go on with what?
4: With the picture.
1: My picture?
3: You said you got the picture.
1: I don’t think I like where this is going.
2: We know where it’s going. Just tell us when it came about.
(1 takes the cigarette from 2 and lights it with his “now working” (2nd) Zippo. He keeps the Zippo lit. )

4

1: This is so embarrassing. (Taking a long drag.)
4: We can wait.
1: I’m really not that good in front of an audience. (Taking another drag.)
2: Relax, take a deep breathe.
(1 INHALES DEEPLY and COUGHS, blowing out his lit Zippo.)
3: Too deep.
(2, 3, and 4 INHALE SLOWLY and DEEPLY then EXHALE. 1 re-lights his Zippo illuminating his face.)
1: It used to give me a hard on.
4: A What?!
2: A hard on.
1: Wait.
3: Oh, brother.
1: I swear to God. When I was maybe eight or nine years old, I snuck one from my Moms ashtray and it did.
(2, 3, and 4 wait for an explanation. Pause)
1: It gave me an erection.
3: How juvenile!
2: How Freudian.
4: How disgusting!
1: No really, it was one of those big, brown, thick, glass, 5 lb. jobbies.
( 2, 3, and 4 GASP/inhale in astonishment)
1: I meant the ashtray.
( 2, 3 and 4 EXHALE/COUGHING in relief.)

5

3: So 1970’s
4: So “Right on, Man!”
2: So...continue.
( 2, 3 and 4 INHALE/ EXHALE)
1: She would talk for hours on this faded, death-yellow, wall-mounted telephone we had there in the kitchen.
2: With that 22 foot long, pigtail extension cord she dragged from room to room and back until it wore itself clean down to the wiring, she’d get a snap-crackle of static on that old land-line and in mid-conversation, without missing a beat, she’d quick fix any sore spots with a band-aid or strip of white masking tape.
3: Good as new.
4: When Mother is on the phone, her whole spinning world comes to a complete stop.
1: She wouldn’t pay much attention putting out her cigarettes in that big, old, glass, door-stop posing as an ashtray just as long as they came to rest somewhere among the others.
2: Sometimes it was this rapid-fire, pistons-firing, stabbing and poking kind of motion she’d use until the cigarette and ashtray became one.
1: Like watching an impressionist artist in fast motion who’s been forced to work with some absurdist, quick-dry paint.
3: Heated conversation.
4: Other times it was this fly-by, one-stab and release move she’d use where the cigarette would lay there smoldering like a dying soldier left out on the battlefield.
1: I snatched one of these fallen heroes up and off that grey, sooty battlefield and gingerly carried it down into the dark recesses of the basement. I waited for a moment.
2: Heart racing.
3: Breathe shallow and rapid.
4: A child recognizing its first real wrong-doing.
1: Reacting like an adult.

6

2: Ready for battle if need be.
3: Hunted.
1: I stood there in the darkness studying its glow, its smell, its voice if listened close enough, its shivering columns of hot silver and grey painted breath as they’d rise and dance effortlessly skyward, exploding into cooling ripples of chaos on the slightest hint of a draft...! (Pause) And then I took my first drag.
(Pause)
2: How did it feel?
(Pause)
1: Love at first light.
3: Love at firs—ft!
4: We all felt that.
2: How do you feel now?
1: Fine.
2: We all felt fine but with a hint of…
1: A hint of…what?
3: Give it time.
(2, 3, and 4 INHALE/EXHALE followed by 1 but he stops himself and stares at his cigarette. He reaches out for the burning tip in a daze. IT BURNS HIM.)
(Pause)
1: I think I know what’s going on here.
2: You do?
1: Sure. I’m not an idiot. (Licking and blowing on his reddened finger tip)
3: No? (Mocking him, licking and blowing his own finger)
1: No and who said that?

7

4: Not me.
2: Alright, let’s all just calm down.
1: I am calm!
( 2, 3, and 4 INHALE/EXHALE. 1 does the same without realizing it.)
1: You guys have got me all wrong. I know what you’re trying to do.
(1 tries to light his Zippo. No go.)
3: So you know, so what.
1: Could one of you pleeeease do something about the lights? (Taking a drag.)
( 3 lights up his Zippo.)
3: “ Could one of you Pleeeease do something about the lights?”
( 3 SNAPS HIS ZIPPO SHUT.)
(1 FUMES)
2: Don’t let him get to you.
1: I’m not!
4: You are.
1: He started it! (Taking a drag)
3: Someone had to.
1: You see?!
2: So end it.
1: End it.
4: End it.
1: And how do I do that?
(Pause. 1 lights up a fresh cigarette.)

8

1: Look, I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be here.
4: I like this guy.
2: He is a keeper, isn’t he?
3: Oh, yeah!
4: For sure.
1: Hey.
2: Something different about him.
1: Hey.
4: I’ll say.
1: Hey!
3: Maybe it’s the way he French inhales.
1: Why don’t you guys talk to me like I’m in the room?!
(Pause)
3: (to 4) Such a temper.
1: There, you see!?
4: (To 3) Anger issues too.
1: Again!
2: Alright you two, that’ll do.
(All INHALE/EXHALE)
1: Thank you.
2: You’re quite welcome.
4: (to 3) I do like him.
3: (to 4) You would.

9

1: I wish I had gotten up and left when I had the chance.
2: Really.
1: Broken neck or not.
4: Ouch.
3: No one’s stopping you.
1: It’s not that easy.
2: Where would you rather be?
1: Anywhere is far better than here.
4: You think so?
1: Absolutely.
(ALL INHALE/EXHALE)
2: So, you wish that you got up and walked out of here.
1: I don’t know.
3: Good answer.
1: I don’t know why I have to be here.
2: You don’t Have to be anywhere.
4: But you Do have to be somewhere.
3: So why not make it nowhere?
1: You mean here.
2: He does.
4: He’s right.
1: But why does-
(3 lights his Zippo and stands towering over 1, yelling!)

10

3: Because the seed is already sewn!
(Pause. 3 takes his seat. ALL INHALE/EXHALE)
1: Fine. If this is my fate, then fine, so be it.
(1 stands and tries to light his Zippo. No go. He starts to exit but bumps into the chairs of 2, 3, and 4. They grab for him, circling, as he heads back to his chair, 2, 3, and 4 REPEAT/OVERLAP their following dialogue until 1 sits.)
2: It’s like flipping a coin, call it in the air, heads or tails, call it, call it call it!
3: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!
4: It’s a fifty-fifty shot, take the chance, take the chance, take the chance!
(1 finally finds his seat and sits, defeated. Pause)
1: Why? Why is it so hard to leave?
2: Why do You think that is?
1: Why do I…Oh, I don’t know. Let me see… Poor lighting?!
(3 stands and approaches 1. He lights his Zippo and gets right in 1’s face)
3: Here’s a hint. This? All of this? It’s got nothing to do…with lighting.
(3 blows out his Zippo and returns to his seat.)
1: Fine. Great, good. Forget the lights. But if we could somehow remain “civil” toward one another then-
3: -Sheesh, what a loser.
1: Strike one for civility!
2: It’s not his fault.
1: On, no?!
2: He’s only here out of denial.
4: And what about me?
3: Stupidity.
1: I know why he’s so hostile toward me.

11

3: This ought to be good.
4: Stupid?
1: He’s angry.
3: Ang-You haven’t seen nothing yet!
4: I’m not stupid.
2: Continue.
(1 INHALES/EXHALES then drops his cigarette and stomps it out.)
4: Now that was stupid.
2: Interesting.
4: Did you see that?!
3: Big deal.
2: It’s interesting, what you just did.
4: Incredible!
1: You think so?
3: Oh yeah, a real “Thriller”.
1: I feel much better.
( 2, 3, and 4 INHALE/EXHALE, COUGHING, WHEEZING)
2: Wish I could say the same.
4: Me too.
3: “Oh, and me too, I want to feel so much better, for sure”... Quitter.
1: Sticks and Stones.
2: Don’t let him get to you.
1: I don’t.

12

3: You do.
4: You don’t?
3: He does.
1: Not at all
4: Really?
1: Not a bit.
3: Not a b-he does.
4: Wow.
2: You don’t do you?
1: Why should I?
2: Good point.
4: Very.
3: He does.
2: A very good point.
1: Thank you.
4: Very good.
3: ( to 4) Traitor.
2: Let him finish.
1: I don’t because I don’t have too. I choose No over a sometimes maybe and a definite, always Yes. I made my choice. And all along, that was my problem. I wasn’t making a choice.
(Pause)
4: Oh, I like him.
2: I always have.

13

3: “I always have.”
4: Very much so.
2: Very much.
3: “Very, very, very, very.”
1: Thank you.
3: Hey.
2: You’re welcome.
3: Hey!
4: Quite welcome.
1: Thank you.
3: Hey!!!
2/4: What?!
3: He’s nothing! Why bother! Nothing but a hack! He invented that walk! A hack, too deep, how juvenile, oh brother, give it time, someone had too, such a temper, because the seed is already sewn, do it, do it, do it and, and, and, an, an, an, a, a, a, a...
(3 begins COUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY and eventually stops.)
3: (Exhausted) He’s nothing...He’s nothing but a hack...a hack…and a quitter.
2: What’s your point?
4: Yeah, what is your point?
3: (Still exhausted) ...no one…no one…no one likes a quitter.
( 3 FALLS out of his chair, FLAT-LINED and dead on the floor.)
LIGHTS UP.
(1 squints his eyes to the new found light. He is dressed in WHITE. 2 is dressed in YELLOW, 3 in BLACK and 4 in RED. 1 observes his surroundings for a beat, rises and acknowledges 2 and 4 as he exits. He stops and turns.

14

1: Hey.
(4 looks up. 1 takes out his Zippo and tries to light it. No go.)
1: Call it.
(1 tosses his Zippo to 4. 4 catches it.)
1: Good luck.
( 1 smiles and exits offstage. 4 looks at 2. 2 nods. 4 kneels down and takes 3’s Zippo and hands all three Zippos to 2. 2 nods and 4 exits offstage. 2 proceeds to light each Zippo and places them on the four empty chairs, 1, 4, 3 and his before exiting.)
LIGHTS OUT.

DARKNESS.


ZIPPOS GLARE.

THE END.