Glass of Water
- a dark comedy in one act -

by Michael Brandonisio



Characters: Lee. Mid-30s, medium height and build.
Anton. Mid-30s, medium height and build.

Setting: A plain room with a single window upstage right. The window has a shade
drawn across it, letting in a hint of daylight. Near the window, a stand-up
wardrobe closet.

Stage left, a door. Upstage left, off center, a well-worn sofa.

Stage right, a mid-sized table with four chairs. Near this table a cot and a lamp
with lampshade on a tall stand.

LEE sits in a rocking chair in center of room. Rocking back and forth. He wears a long sleeve, white button down shirt with the top button fastened. Gray pants. Lee stares into space as he rocks in the chair.

A small table is positioned next to Lee. A thick hardcover book and two drinking glasses lie on top of the table. One of the drinking glasses is half-full with water. The other is empty. Alongside the drinking glasses and book, a white plastic Rx pill bottle.

Near the small table, down stage left, a turned off analog television set with a rabbit ears antenna facing out towards the audience.

Lee looks at the small table. He stops rocking in the chair. Lee averts his gaze from the table. Starts rocking in chair again as he stares straight ahead. He gazes again at the table. Stops rocking. Picks up the book from the table. Turns the pages at random.

There is a knock at the door. Pause.

Lee looks at the door. Pause.

ANTON enters the room.

ANTON: How’ve you been, Lee?

Anton closes door. He wears a dark blazer, black pants and a gray shirt with top button fastened. Anton takes a few steps towards Lee. Lee puts the book back on the table.

LEE: I heard you knock, but did you hear me say come in?

ANTON: I thought I did. May I sit down?

LEE: If you so desire.

ANTON: Yes, I would. Thank you.

Anton crosses to mid-sized table stage right, chooses a chair and drags it to where Lee is.
Anton remains standing. He takes off his jacket and drapes it over the chair.

LEE: You know, Anton, desire is a funny thing.
ANTON: How so?

LEE: You know.

ANTON: Of course I do, Lee.

Anton chuckles.

LEE: Well, there you go. Nothing less, nothing more.

Anton looks at the small table next to Lee with the various objects on it.

ANTON: Have you been reading?

LEE: In a way, I suppose. But I don’t read in the traditional sense. I gave that up.

ANTON: So, what do you do instead?

LEE: I gaze.

ANTON: You mean you gaze at the page without actually reading the words?

LEE: Yes. I gaze and absorb.

ANTON: There must be a reason you gaze and absorb while not reading.

LEE: There is.

Anton waits for Lee to continue with his explanation, but Lee keeps mum.

ANTON: Will you tell me why you gaze and absorb while not reading?

LEE: I just might if you just stopped asking me silly questions all the time. Sit down.
ANTON: I will. I’m sorry if I upset you.

LEE: You don’t upset me. You simply annoy me.

ANTON: I’m sorry, Lee. Do you want me to go?

LEE: No. Stay. I just don’t want to hear anything more about how sorry you are.

Anton irked, turns away from Lee. Lee is relaxed. Anton turns, faces Lee.

ANTON:(calm, yet edgy) I’ll tell you this, Lee. My sorrow, my sorrow doesn’t mean
I still don’t care about you. It’s not a fifty-fifty proposition.

LEE: Yes, no doubt. That’s what it means. Winner takes all.

ANTON:(calmer): That’s right. I don’t do things by half.

LEE: Hmmm, I understand. Would you like a glass of water?

Anton points at the glass of water on the small table next to Lee.

ANTON: That one?

LEE: Yes, that one.

ANTON: I would prefer a fresh glass of water. Thank you.

LEE: But there’s nothing wrong with this particular glass of water. I haven’t put it to
my lips. It’s not contaminated. I wouldn’t poison you, Anton. You’re my last link
to a world gone all coo-coo bird.

ANTON: I understand. I love you like a brother, too. Did you take your meds today?

LEE: I did, Anton. I did.

ANTON: No lie?

LEE: Lee doesn’t lie. Why don’t you sit down?

ANTON: But the water, as you yourself said, hasn’t been touched. You couldn’t have
taken the meds.

LEE: Don’t be such a fusspot. I don’t need to drink water to take them.

ANTON: Of course, you do. Otherwise, you’d choke to death.

LEE: No, I wouldn’t. I do it all the time. I’m an expert. I just took a couple before you
arrived. Would you like to try some with the water?

ANTON: No. I’m fine, Lee. I’m fine.

LEE: Still, we shouldn’t let this water go to waste.

ANTON: You can drink it. I won’t stop you.

LEE: I’m not in the least bit thirsty, but you look like you might be. Sit down.

Lee picks up the glass of water and offers it to Anton. Anton takes the glass and looks at it closely. Inspecting it.

ANTON: Hmmm, it looks clean.

LEE: That’s because it is clean. Go ahead, Anton. Down the hatch.

Anton places the glass of water under his nose. Sniffs it.

ANTON: It smells clean.

LEE: Yes, it has a nice fresh smell to it.

ANTON: Yes, like beautiful flowers. It makes you want to drink it.

Anton brings the glass to his lips.

LEE: No, don’t. It could be poisoned.

ANTON: But we both agreed that the water is not contaminated.

Lee stands up from the rocking chair.

LEE: I said poisoned , not contaminated. There’s a difference. Anyway, we can’t
believe everything we hear, or so I’ve heard. One never truly knows. That’s what
the old village idiot used to say to me. ‘Son, in life, one never truly knows.’ He
never did. Sit down, Anton. Relax.

Anton goes to the rocking chair and sits. He puts the glass of water down on the table.

LEE
I’ll be right back.

Lee picks up the empty glass from the table. He crosses to the door, opens it and walks out, closing the door behind him.
Anton starts rocking in the chair. The Rx bottle on the table catches his eye. He stops rocking. He picks up the Rx bottle. Looks at it closely. Opens it. Looks into it.

ANTON: Let’s see.

He pours out a handful of pills. Pops them into his mouth. Chews and swallows them down without water.

ANTON: Hmmm. Not bad. Tastes like candy.

He pops more pills into his mouth. Chews and swallows them down. Sits quietly in the rocking chair. He seems to expect something to happen. Nothing happens. He starts rocking in the chair again. Back and forth. Faster and faster.

Anton gradually slows down until the rocking chair comes to a full stop. He stays perfectly still for some time, gazing straight ahead.

He shuts his eyes. After a while, his head slumps to one side. Silence.

LIGHTS on stage begin to dim.

The television in the room suddenly switches on by itself. Black and white image of American flag, blowing in the wind. Lee’s face superimposed on flag.

LIGHTS continue to dim.

LEE (on TV)
And so it goes, old friend. And so it goes,
it goes, and it goes. Where it stops, one
never knows. One never knows…never…
never…never…never.

Total darkness now on stage except for a spotlight on the glass of water half-full on the small table and Lee’s face on the television screen, staring out.

Hold for some time. Abruptly the television goes black. The only thing left visible on stage is the glass of water half-full. Hold for some time.

LIGHTS dim on the glass of water until it is no longer seen.

Hold on blackness.


CURTAIN